March 24, 2012
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I need some opinions, and I know you guys can handle that!
I am starting to really advertise this small business I’ve recently started and I’ve come up with a flyer I personally like. Unfortunately, my personal taste does not often translate into sales! So I am turning to the only people I know who are, usually, more than willing to share their opinions and help each other out, my fellow Xangans!
THE GOAL:
I want people, who have never in their lives considered customizing their phones, to pick up this flyer and want what I am selling.
WHAT I NEED FROM YOU:
I want to know if any of you have suggestions to make this flyer more appealing. If there is something that you see that turns you off, or something you see that I should emphasize let me know in the comments!
Please, rec this post so I can get as much feedback as possible!
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Comments (30)
I prefer comedy as it attracts my eye. I suppose that is why my favourite books are the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series…
i would help except i can’t see the graphic =/ but i will rec anyway.
Looks good – the repair bit is what I think will get most peoples’ attention.
Oh yeah, you may want to change it to a jpeg so people who browse with their iphones (your potential customers) can see it, lol.
You need to show a babe with cleavage:
Customize your phone and get laid!
Ohh I’m actually taking a class right now where we are editing documents like this. This first sentence “Do you have a broken iPhone or do you want to stand out in the crowd?” That doesn’t convey any meaning. Broken iPhones makes someone stand out?
“We have been specializing in iPhone repair…” Who’s we? Put the business name here.
“Is the glass on the front or back broken?” There is no glass on the back.
I like the graphics on the flyer though and the big lettering on top
@oxlorixo - Good point, I should clarify the first sentence, “do you have a broken iPhone you need repaired OR do you want to customize your iPhone to stand out from the crowd”
The front and back of the iPhone 4 and 4s are both made of glass, although the 3G and 3Gs both have plastic backs, so you are half correct, lol. I will further clarify that as well.
As for a business name, I havent assigned one yet, I should rephrase and put “I” instead of “we” or come up with a name, lol. For various reasons I’ve purposely left the business nameless…
@agnophilo - This isn’t the website they will be coming to, the actual website is being built right now and will be full-HTML5 to support all mobile devices.
@YouToMe - sorry! The only way I could show the entire flyer using a PDF was this plug-in. I don’t think mobile devices can see it(haven’t checked)
@justfinethanku - Really? It’s glass? I did not know that, but I don’t have an iPhone. I stand corrected.
@justfinethanku - Yeah, but I thought you might want to get feedback from people who actually have iphones.
@justfinethanku - Take a screenshot.
I think your advertisement looks too much like a corporate flyer that you get in your inbox by the CEO. Try to work a little bit more on the art itself, something that will attract someone’s attention and make them want to look at your flyer for more than 5 seconds.
Plus I think your flyer has too many words. You should try to get more to the point on what you do. Here is an example I can think of.
-We do customization.
-We do repairs
.-Customers have been satisified with our work since 2007
-Call us at 570-702-4991 or email us at justfinethanku@gmail.com for pricing and availability.
Hope that helps.
thanks. no worries. typically i’m using a mobile device, but this is one of the rare circumstances that i am using my father’s computer, and it is still not showing up. =/
screen shot suggestion is a good idea. maybe that will work.
marketing products has be tough. i think the constructive criticism above appears sound. though what might appeal to one client, often does not to many others. for example, i tend to get turned off by some attempts to create catchphrases, cliche’s and quick bullet point type advertising. so what appeals to others, often doesn’t to me. my dos centavos. =)
@we_deny_everything - horrible, but you made me chuckle. hehe
@Kellsbella - i <3 that series
@agnophilo - done
Random thoughts which I truly hope don’t come across as insulting but you asked for critique sooooo…. In my completely not professional opinion…. It seems too stiff grammatically. Maybe use some contractions? Why did you use “or”? Can’t I do both the gettin it fixed and the getting it to stand out? You need a before and after shot kinda like a “from this (insert broken phone here) to this (insert your best work here)” perspective. Are you an authorized repair place? If so you should say that in the ad, if not then maybe a blurb about avoiding the pricey dealer repairs. Maybe avoid using proper sentence structure so it sounds more like an ad and less like a creative writing assingment? ie… Scratched, scuffed broken glass? We can fix it. Hum drum colors, we’ve got your personal rainbow. Less words, larger words… go here for details with link to your website where an order form with shipping label is handily available for download in pdf… you have to bait that hook… LOL… of course your ad is just fine the way it is too. I like the colors what about tie die and cammo and polka dots we must have polka dots! Your ad does the provision of information well, it gets the message across clearly with no need to look elsewhere; but I wouldn’t trust the person who wrote it with my phone because it seems, now I can’t think of a word that fits properly. It seems like it’s from a new company gives the feel of a college kid with a garage repair shop, which isn’t always a bad thing because I have college kids fix my stuff all the time and they’re darned good at it but I know where they live
As I said in the beginning I’m not a professional and I don’t even use an i-phone so when I say humble opinion that’s exactly what it is.
@justfinethanku - Need to adjust the size of the picture (bear in mind they can zoom in, they just need it not to be covered by html).
Wording in center left would work better in 2-3 word bullets, leaving more white space. Phones in bottom left look like leaky paint cans — while colorful and attractive, I don’t think that serves your purpose well. The two-toned sea looks more like 7-toned — consistency is important.
@agnophilo - This flyer is an actual flyer that will be printed out. I will have a website up, but it won’t look anything like this flyer. Maybe I should have clarified that in the post (will edit in a minute)
@tsh44 - This is a local shop with a storefront. No internet sales yet so I don’t have to really worry about whether people will trust sending their phones in to me at the moment. All of your points remain really valid though, thanks!!!!!!!
@slmret - True. I was thinking of a few ways to do exactly that in my latest revision. I’m glad someone else agrees! As far as the two-toned thing, iPhones only come in black and white, and anyone who owns one (my potential customers) will know that, the photo next to that statement is there for contrast. Also, the picture on the bottom left is a play on an old iPod advertisement.
@justfinethanku - I read back through the comments and it looks like you’ll be able to glean some great advice all round.
@justfinethanku - No I meant in the blog, a good chunk of the right side of the poster is cut off. You might not be able to tell if your monitor’s resolution is set very small because the page will appear big enough to fit the entire thing, but on mine the first sentence says:
“Do you have a broken ipod or do yo” (cutoff)
Oh wait, I guess not that much is cut off. But still, if you want people to criticize spacial relationships and whatnot.
Also you might want to have a logo or company name or store name on there somewhere.
So plain. You need some graphic help I guess. I love the color splash ( or whatever you call it) at the bottom! I don’t like the font color. BLUE, you got the most hideous blue!May be change the background into something more rockn’roll and replace the black iphone with white? ‘Cause most people go for white iphone or it’s just me seeing more people with white covers. There you got my candid opinion.
Too many words for my taste. I’m all about quick read and photos. If there are paragraphs then I’m less likely to stop and see what the company is offering.
Since I’m in advertising, I can safely say, you need something in your flyer that catches the eye. Advertising is all about association with a product and repitition of the ad is very important. The more its seen the more the association to it and it sticks in the head. Sort of like when you hear the phrase…”can you hear me now ?” People know its related to cell phone industry.
Get a phrase that stands out on your flyer that will catch the attention. Don’t make it too serious and give it a comical spin to it maybe.
Well, first thing that caught me was there is no price(s) or price range(s), which usually tells me something cost a lot. If you pay attention to tv ads of course, this is what you will see. If they put the price on it is affordable to a good deal but if not, it is expensive or the product really sucks – at least this has been my own impression. Good luck with this! Personally, I have a flip phone and dont even text, so I am not really into all the new smartphones and what-not.
@catstemplar2 - what do you think of the new flyer? (next post up)
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